If not the most soul-destroying of all habits and nearly impossible to avoid due to the continual strain social media has on our lives. Comparing yourself to others is a one way street to unhappiness.
I have spent years comparing myself to others, whether that be on social media or out in the real world. I have yet to master the art of “non-comparison” but I have learnt a few things on my quest to do so that I hope might help some of you.
We have to realise that everyone has faults…..but they’re not going to show you these. I can spend hours scrolling through Instagram wondering how all these girls became so beautiful and have such glorious lives… but if we are truly honest with ourselves, they’re not going to put the mundane day they went for a shop in Tesco, or spilt coffee down their new top. On top of the fact people will only show you what they want you to see, in a lot of cases they are extremely stretching the truth…..I was sat in Westfield shopping centre one day at the champagne bar (Birthday treat) and I kid you not, a lady came over with a designer handbag in a shopping bag, took out the bag, took a photo of it at the champagne bar and then proceeded to take it back to the shop to, I assume, take it back…..she didn’t even stop for a glass of champagne. So on the other end of this, we would see a lady with her designer handbag sat at the champagne bar….. (See where I’m going with this?)
- Spend more time thinking about yourself because comparison really is a waste of time….Seriously. Even if you do think the girl on Instagram is prettier than you because she has more followers, what are you really doing about that if you are just worrying and thinking about it. Instead of thinking about her, think of yourself….get down the gym, go get your nails done, whatever makes you feel better. I can 99.9% guarantee you will never feel any better if you just think about it and once you’ve started concentrating on yourself, you’ll forget she even existed.
- Let go of perfection. It’s never going to happen, literally….never, and surprisingly that’s a positive thing. Firstly due to there being no such thing as perfection, like who made that up seriously? How do we even know what perfect is anyway? Nobody, no matter how much you convince yourself, is perfect compared to another person. The only thing we can be perfect at, is being completely and utterly ourselves.
- Focus on you and only you. Be selfish. Make your biggest comparison the person you were yesterday. I have recently been really focussing on this point. Trying to become a better me. I know I cant be like anyone else and that’s what’s great, no one can tell me I’m doing it wrong, because how could they possibly know what’s right for me, when they’re not me?….A few little tips; learn something new, take up a new hobby, start exercising, start eating healthier, meet new people, travel, get a new job….. Do something that the old you wouldn’t do, something that the old you would be jealous of. Show the old you who’s boss!
- Realise it’s never about them, it’s about you. It’s about your own self-esteem and the key is to improve this. I honestly believe, the more I build up my self-image, the less I am inclined to compare myself to others. This takes time, patience and practice but will ultimately help you to be too busy feeling great you won’t need think about others.